Miracle

I always knew that this was said by Albert Einstein, but this December edition of Reader's Digest confirmed it in the Quotes section

“There are only two ways to live life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other as though everything is a miracle.”

From as long as I can remember I have always been intrigued by each and everything that kept happening around me. Every small little thing kept fascinating me. I am not talking about some butterfly in some garden or a sunset at the beach (which are standard items for people to reminiscence about), I am referring to the normal lives of people and how each of them reacts to the same things differently. In school, I honestly loathed certain students because of their behavior in class. I just couldn't believe that they could be so careless towards studies or that they could behave in such an irresponsible manner as they did, most importantly I couldn't comprehend why or what made them the way they were (they were kids I know, but then I was one too). Gradually this loathing turned into a fascination which ultimately led me to become a kinda psychoanalyst of people. So what was as a kid shocking to me became the most miraculous thing as I grew up. A miracle which gradually turned into a fact of life. I began to accept not just the behavior of people in all its entirety but I became more & more sure about my own behavior in all situations.
I just opened up my mind to all possibilities of people and their attitudes. Nothing seemed abnormal or wrong. My definitions of good, bad, wrong, right, beautiful,ugly had to undergo radical changes if I was to accept this truth of life and trust me radical is a very mild word to describe the changes I underwent. Nothing seemed to amaze me anymore, it was as if I had fully come to terms with the miracle called Life. It was not that my feelings became numbed because of the daily drudgery, but its just that a miracle ceases to be a miracle once you accept that it is a miracle. So this miracle of the variety of people and their personalities actually has become a daily routine.

The list of things which I find miraculous is too big to even imagine, so let me put it as 'if I don't find anything miraculous that itself is a miracle'. So in one way I am treating everything as a miracle and this very acceptance of miracle in everything means that I am treating nothing as a miracle.

Nay ... not my type ....

I always used to tell myself that I am not gonna write about the daily mundane occurrences happening in my life.
Firstly, everyone does that and there would be nothing new or different that I would be opining about. Secondly my life isn't very interesting to write about, in fact, it is as boring as it can get.
(but most importantly this is not the place where I would like to honestly tell what I honestly think)
But thats the whole point of blogging people tell me(Who told me? Don't ask me) Its just about describing each & every situation you encounter in your own way. You don't necessarily have to be the guy to whom things happen, you can be some nondescript guy doing something nondescript but ultimately you must bring out the it-happened-to-me (and even the i-wish-it-happened-to-me) in an over-the-top exaggerated manner (lets include the it-never-happened-to-me-but-you-wouldn't-know incidents also into this). It is all about cribbing about anything and everything that happens to you, complaining about some people (all people), bringing out emotions which one wouldn't dare to do in reality, use the first alphabets of the names of people to protect their identity, use superbly funny abbreviations and some found-only-in-blogs words like “whatisitsname” when you actually bloody don't know “What is its name?”, twist and turn the words of the English language in any way you wish coz the only aim is to bring out your intended meaning at the expense of the language.
The one attribute that stands out glaringly in all these blogs and that which makes me to hate these blogsters (see I invented a word right there) all the more is the I dont give a damn attitude (the synonyms being Devil may care attitude, I am who I am attitude etc etc). Well if they didn't give a damn they wouldn't have to be writing a blog in the first place. Anyway let me consider that they actually dont give a damn and they do blog for various whatever reasons, but all that they try to show is that they dont give a damn. Hypocrites of the highest order is too mild a phrase to describe them. Well if all this bothered you then you can be assured that you DO give a damn.
I somehow always felt that mine would be just-another-web-log if I wrote about such stuff and just now I have had an Eureka moment that mine is very much just-another-web-log.

Anup Nidhanee

For the purpose of ensuring that a google for Anup Nidhanee should lead people to Anup Nidhanee's blog I am going to put the name Anup Nidhanee (Yes I am Anup Nidhanee) as many times as possible in this blog which has been titled Anup Nidhanee.

Simplifying the complexity of Philosophy

These are excerpts from The Speaking Tree (TOI 26th November) written by Yaron Barzilay.

When mention is made of philosophy, one might imagine that a rain of words will fall combined with complicated sentences and theories. This way of seeing philosophy is far from the true spirit of philosophy which basically aims to bring us closer to simplicity and clarity.
It is customary to credit Pythagoras for pronouncing the term Philosophy first when he described himself not as a 'wise man' but as a 'man who is in love with wisdom', a "Philosophos".

Philo or love is the ability to unite with wisdom, or we can also say with life itself. The love of wisdom therefore is an active process in which one learns the principles of life and changes himself accordingly. This process brings man to live in harmony with nature.
Philosophy is not a theoretical concept trying to describe life, but an active state where man is in a constant process of change. We can also refer to it as an ethical way of living where we discover our true virtues.

To be a philosopher is not to stay at a cold distance from others but to develop a sense of belonging to life and to the mutual essence of things. It was said in the temple of Delphi, the holy centre of ancient Greece: "Know thyself and know the world and the Gods"

"When you come to the edge of all the light, and you know you are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown , faith is knowing one of the two things will happen :
Either there will be something solid to stand on or ... You will be taught how to fly."

Choice

The immediate inspirations for this post are the movies ---- The Matrix (all the three) and The Butterfly Effect (I wouldnt suggest this to anyone) and one photo.

Photo??? I guess a week ago in the last page of The Hindu there was this photo .... a lonely kashmiri fisherman throwing his net into the river and surrounded by water everywhere and the caption saying that the fishing season had begun. He was absolutely lonely and I am sure he himself wasnt sure how long he would just sit there waiting for his net to fill. So what would he do all that while? Its not like he had a bottle of beer with a novel for company. So what would he do when it is not the fishing season? Wait for the season to arrive... duh!!! I couldnt help wonder if he ever felt bored of waiting ... waiting for the season to arrive .. and waiting for the fish once the season arrived. After all these thoughts crossed my mind the first question that came to my mind was "Does he have a choice?"The obvious answer being that he doesnt. The second question that comes up (to those who are even remotely bothered) is "Does he want any other choice?". I would like to believe that he doesnt.

The Butterfly Effect is a crappy movie to watch but the underlying concept that they have tried to bring out is good. It tries to bring out the fact that whatever is happening in your life now is because of the continuous series of events that have happened throughout your life. Its that typical "If things had happened that way then, things would have been different now", "If only I had made that choice then ..... ". But its not in our hands to say "I will do like this now, so that things will be like that later". Nothing can be changed. Its only after things have happened that you can say "How I wish ..". Things are perfect just the way they are is the best thing that you can tell yourself and move on.

The Matrix ... well what can i say about the movie .. its one super awesome movie and people who think its just another-futuristc-sci-fi movie have not got anywhere near understanding the core concept of the movie which is the unifying factor between man & machine .. CHOICE. Either this or that. Digitally speaking 0 or 1.

Everyday .. every moment I am making choices, most of them sub-consciously and a few with my entire intellect involved. These choices are nothing but a burden coz no matter how much precious time I spend on the right choice to be chosen, it is always a question mark. The rightness or wrongness of the choice chosen is only determined later when it is absolutely impossible to change what has happened but to accept things as is and move on. Then why make the choice in the first place?? coz it has to be done. Simple. Then why spend my energy-time-mental_effort on making it when the outcome is certainly a uncertainty?? This is the point I wanted to get to .. I dont have to. I gotta choose, so I choose but all the internal-conflicts my mind might subject me to is pointless.

I couldnt think of a better conclusion to this than the following conversation at the end of the epic-fight between Neo & Mr.Smith in the last of Matrix trilogy
Mr.Smith : "Why Mr.Anderson .. why why ... why do you persist?"
Neo : "Because I choose to."

Salvation is within

There comes a time in most people's lives when they realize that they just arent meant to read Shakespeare. It is how they face this earth-quaking reality that truly decides what path their life takes.

Some might actually go back to the first page and try to read The Bard again. Its not that they are trying to run away from the reality (that they are plainly incapable of comprehending Shakespeare), but its just that they believe in ".... try try try .... well just keep trying " coz thats all they ever do. Probably they dont even believe in the above phrase but they hardly realize their incapability. HE hasnt gifted their mind the capacity to even know whats actually going on in their minds (those lucky bastards). So as they have always been doing everything in their lives they do this too, without a sense of achievement or a sense of failure. They never get bogged down by failure and success for them is something that always happens to others. I think its time to let these people know that Shakespeare was not an author=novel/story/book-writer, he was a playwright. Scratching your head??? Playwright's are those who ...... aah forget it.

Then there are the truly literally literary-gifted one's. These are the people whose parents had stuffed the Britannica series in their rooms long before they learnt the sentence "Mom, you gotta be kidding me". Well these people really truly seriously and perfectly understand what Shakespeare was all about. They have a genuine understanding of why Shakespeare wrote the way he did. They have a very clear picture of all the complexities involved in each of the character's portrayed by The Bard. Their dedication in completely & thoroughly understanding each and every situation described by The Bard is truly commendable & it does require a lot of genuine-interest apart from concentration. Their knowledge of Shakespeare is so complete that they can probably recite any verse along with the chapter number and paragraph. They have absolutely no doubt about their Shakespearean prowess. These people not only know Shakespeare, they also know that they know Shakespeare. Nothing can shake this belief of theirs coz surely Britannica cant be wrong, can it? Their analysis, their views, their opinions are all based on what has been analysed, what has been expressed and what has been opined about. So what? whats wrong with that? That exactly is the problem. These people have read Shakespeare because it is the "right" thing to do. Everything that they do in life is based on the concept of right or wrong, success or failure , good or bad, needless to say the qualities mentioned above being determined by factors completely external to them. Their focus in whatever they do is impeccable coz, you guessed right, they are doing the "right" thing you see. 'Whats wrong in doing something that's right?' they say. I give you a thought to chew on "Whats right in doing something that's wrong?"

There are also the kind who read Shakespeare coz they want to know what this great intellectual had to express. They are the people who have felt things the way they are & truly experienced life in its entirety. All they want to gain by reading The Bard is the knowledge of his views. They are not looking to get impressed by his dramatisation-skills or his license-to-make-grammatical-mistakes-skills. They are very clear about their opinion which is truly their own because the basis for that is themselves and their thoughts. They are not looking to gain worldly knowledge by reading Shakespeare. They really dont bother analyzing and dissecting the characters in his play's coz as far as they are concerned they just wanted to read Shakespeare, feel (even for a brief moment) what The Bard might have felt when writing such a scene and carry on with their life, coz they dont have to prove to anybody that they are "right".

Now comes the turn of those kind of people who probably knew that they were never going to read Shakespeare from the time they heard about him. Its probably because they are too busy writing their blogs.

Acceptance

Eks1: Why are people the way they are?

Eks2: People are whoever they are without knowing who they are

Eks1: Why is it that things which are so obvious to me are not so for others?

Eks2: Maybe because whats obvious to others is not obvious to you

Eks1: There is something fundamentally wrong with the way people behave in this world

Eks2: You sure the problem is with the behaviour & not the thinking?

Eks1: I dont care where the problem lies, but it is getting tougher for me to accept things the way they are.

Eks2: Well, you dont have to accept it

Eks1: Things are so bad that I would have to cutoff myself from this filthy existence if I dont accept it

Eks2: Read this beautiful poem

The Great Way is not difficult
For those who have no preferences.
When love and hate are both absent
Everything becomes clear and undisguised.
Make the smallest distinction, however
And heaven and earth are set infinitely apart.

If you wish to see the truth
Then hold no opinions for or against anything.
To set up what you like against what you dislike
Is the disease of the mind
When the deep meaning of things is not understood
The minds essential peace is disturbed to no avail.

The Way is perfect like vast space
Where nothing is lacking and nothing is in excess.
Indeed, it is due to our choosing to accept or reject
That we do not see the true nature of things.

Live neither in the entanglements of outer things,
Nor in the inner feelings of emptiness.
Be serene in the oneness of things
And such erroneous views will disappear by themselves.
When you try to stop activity to achieve passivity
Your very effort fills you with activity.
As long as you remain in one extreme or the other
You will never know Oneness.

- Sengstan

LAKSHYA

Eks1: You cant have a Lakshya for a lifetime

Eks2: Of course I can

Eks1: Then what would you do after achieving the Lakshya of your life?

Eks2: Lakshya isnt about achieving one thing after which I would say I have completed the purpose of my existence on this earth. My life is not about my Lakshya, my Lakshya is about my life.

Eks1: Life doesnt need a Lakshya to be lived. All the sense of achievement, sense of joy, sense of pride is superficial.

Eks2: True, but I never said that those feelings are what I am pursuing in this quest for my Lakshya.

Eks1: Then why have a Lakshya?

Eks2: Having a Lakshya for the sake of achieving it, is the worst forms of Lakshya a person can have. My Lakshya is not about setting a goal and achieving it, it is not about dreaming about something and going after it, it is not about pushing myself to the extreme to get whatever done. My Lakshya is something that gives me a sense of direction whenever I am lost, it is something that gives me a purpose in whatever I do, it is something that I know is mine, it is something that I cannot put into words coz if I could I would.

LOVE

Eks1 : How do I know its love ?
Eks2: You must ask the right questions to get the right answers
Eks1: And the right question is ....
Eks2: How do I know its not love ?
Eks1: ok, How do I know its not love ?
Eks2: Its not love till you realize that it is.

Cliché

Those of you who have understood the true meaning of the term “cliché” would have realized that the term cliché has itself become a cliché. A victim of its own creation of sorts.

In three words I can sum up everything I have learnt about life, It Goes On ---- that’s so cliché

So you all know what you should be saying after you read each of the below sentences.

I hate doing homework
I hate studying for exams
Life is so boring
I wish I had more money
I want to go out and play
I want to fall in love
I wish the summer holidays would start at winter this time
When is school getting reopened, I am so bored
When I grow up I want to be rich, famous & successful
No one understands me
Its maa life, gonna live it in maa way
I am who I am period
Whatever … WTF …. Who cares …. NO fear …. What’s your prob ….
Love and all is bullshit
Life is so boring
I wish I had more money
I am the best
Life is beautiful
I havent finished studying anything
I want to do engineering after my 12th
Classes are such a waste of time
The lecturers know nothing
I am going to make the most of this one life I got
I am wasting my time doing nothing
I can be whoever I want to be
Why do things happen to me only?
GOD, I wish I could just stop worrying so much
Success, fame & richness is not going to make me happy
I just love the countryside
I want to travel the whole world
I just want to lead a calm & peaceful life
All I want is happiness
I am going to marry someone who is compatible with me
I want to go for my dreams
I want a big house, nice car, beautiful wife
Life is so boring
I wish I had more money
The best days of my life were when I was a kid


Many of us go through various feelings at different times. Most of these thoughts are attributed to our age & not much attention is given to all these because as I myself have said it has become so cliché to think like this. Very few “actually feel” all these. For the rest, the feelings are present but they really have no idea what it feels like to “actually feel” it. Well some are meant to feel it & some are not, so no big deal. But at the end of the day, its your call as to whether “I am going to grow out of it” or “I am going to do something about it”.

Movies masti magic

Movies have ruined my life. Movies are the root cause of all the desires which i currently possess. Desires which motivate me as much as they cause me anguish. Movies have influenced in so many ways that I sometimes wonder what kind of a person I would have been if I hadnt watched even one movie in my life!!!

Movies have shown me the insignificance of my presence. Oh yes, they have. If not for movies I would have led a contended life, satisfied with whatever little I had. I would have been extremely happy in my own small little world without bothering (because I would not be knowing) about the world outside. Movies have opened me to the infiniteness of people & places. They have shown me the various facets of human existence. They have made me realize that life can be lived in any which way.

But then, movies are solely responsible for causing me the biggest issue of my teenage life "identity crisis". Yes, they caused total confusion in my tiny mind during my formative years. I can even go to the extent of saying they have scarred me for life. There is no denying that DDLJ filled my heart with various forms of feelings about love (wah .. seriously). There is no denying that as I grew up, Sanju baba & his gang-of-men changed my perception about "bad boys".


Movies generally portray that you can achieve something only when you got nothing to start with. Its always from the bottom that you go to the top. So the situations are always such, a guy from the lowest strata of society who has got nothing to lose going on to achieve something really big. These kind are really inspiring. But then not everyone is in a situation of got-nothing-to-lose. The other situation being the filthy rich. They have the best girls around, the best things, the best locales, the best scenes (..Ahem) why GOD why ???
People might say "Its just a movie dude .. its all make-believe" ... but those are real people .. real locations. who cares if it happened or not, the fact is that those people exist as do those places & that is enough for a dream. The very few movies which portray the situation in between (neither the too-poor & neither the too-rich) are the most hurting even though they are supposed to portray the life of people like me. You know why it hurts most?? coz they all have a neighbourhood-sweet-girl-next-door around. It never ever happens in real life, does it?? (I am praying)

Movies have made a mockery of my emotions, they have made me realize that whatever I want to do has been done, whatever I want to achieve has been achieved, whatever I dream has been dreamt, whatever I feel has been felt, whatever I think has been thought, whatever I know has been known. The emotions they bring out in such openness has made me feel that I should do the same, even though I dont. Some situations, some scenes, some dialogues have welled up my eyes, some have given me goose bumps, some have just stayed with me to haunt me, to question me.
Life has indeed taught me many lessons and I am forever indebted to it for that, and the rest I have learnt from movies.

Ex-Thoughts

For reasons unknown to me, I have been very late in realizing most of the things around me. By “things” I mean the general way of life & also the normal way of thinking of people. This has been happening from a long time, and when I have finally realized the actuality of it all, it has always been an “..aha!!!” moment & will continue to be so.

I will start from as far as I can remember. When I was 11 or 12, a haircut meant, well a cutting-of-hair or maybe even cutting-of-all-hair, not as in bald, but cutting it with scissors as much as the barber’s skill allowed. I would always be surprised when the barber used to ask what kind of haircut I wanted. Slowly of course, by looking here & there, and also after breaking my (then-small) head as to why I used to be called porcupine by many people, I realized that haircut shouldn’t be taken literally. Aha !! From then onwards, till now, I have never returned from the barber’s shop with the kind of haircut as I would have planned before entering the shop.

For some strange reason, till I was 18 or so, I used to associate casteism with my language. I used to think that only kannadigas were Brahmins, & also I had no idea of the names of any other caste. Trust me, I had no clue that “caste” is actually associated with which family you are born in and that language had nothing to do with it. Aha !! I couldn’t imagine that a person was accorded a so and so caste just because he was born to so and so. But what was even more shocking was the most-casual acceptance of this fact by everyone around. It wasn’t that I had an ideological difference with people around me; in fact I didn’t even know their ideology. Anyway, I don’t want to start preaching here, so it would be enough if I said, casteism is absolute BS. Though I must add that, since Brahmanas wrote the Vedas, Upanishads & all other holy scriptures of Hindu’s, we have (in UNIX terms) administrative rights. We have the right to edit, modify & bend the rules as we may wish and as I am a Brahmin in all its pure sense, I am going to do so.

My life was very straight forward and my thinking was very simple till I entered engineering. It was on these lines---- 'People who do engineering are the crème-de-elite & along with this people who do Medical also exist'. I had absolutely no clue as to the variety of courses available in various other streams. It wasn’t that I didn’t think they were good, I just didn’t know that these courses were present because of the most basic fact that everyone has got different interests & that you should do something you should be interested in. Aha !! I simply wasn’t exposed to all this choose-a-career-in-accordance-with-your-aptitude stuff. Maybe it is because of the plethora of opportunities available to the educated Indian today, or maybe it was the hostel atmosphere during engineering which opened my eyes to the fact that “do anything you want but do it good & you can be whoever you want to be, because it doesn’t matter what you do, all that matters is how you do it”.

I won’t lie here by saying that I didn’t know that the concept of arranged marriage existed in our society. I was aware, but surely I wasn’t aware of the actual process. My views on marriage, long before I lost my innocence, were that I would be obviously going to have a love-marriage (then it seemed the most natural thing that could happen with me) and that I would just have to get a job after engineering. So after job, marry. That’s it. Simple, wasn’t it?? Well the problem came in the shape of pre-decided rules of marriage. Guy has gotta be >> 28,well settled & girl has gotta be <<24-25> Aha !! Even after realizing these things, I thought that these would be restricted to the uneducated lot, who don’t realize that marriage is not some convenient relationship you form, in order to lead a comfy life, but a bond of two souls, of two minds, of two hearts, of two human-bodies. But that is not at all the case; in fact it is the highly educated lot who are very much continuing the “traditions”. This has actually reached such a stage that all the education & worldly knowledge is not going to make any difference to the way people think & approach this subject of marriage. I thought that, the current generation of girls might feel that they are being asked to compromise their lives, since they are usually married off to someone by the time they reach their mid-20’s, but that isn’t the case. I think that, the acceptance of this kind of situation by the girls has been at a subconscious level. Of course, this doesn’t apply to each & everyone, but it does to most (currently) & the only thing to be glad about this is that the system is working.

As I have mentioned, my exposure to the “world” was very limited. I used to think that my views were futuristic, till I realized that they were not. My only futuristic view was to become rich. I had no notion of this clichéd term in engineering circles called ‘higher-studies’. By this I mean that, I actually didn’t know that you could actually study more after engineering.Aha !! The true meaning of terms like graduate, post-graduate, bachelor’s, master’s had never entered my mind. Stupid, wasn’t I ?? Once again, the shocking part being, everyone is doing it & those who are not at least know about it. GOD, where was I sleeping?? (Vatsa, you were always sleeping in the classroom)

When I was very very young, in other words, when I was cute & chubby I didn’t even know that a term called “Weekend” existed. Saturday was half day of school & lot of games in the afternoon & evening. Sunday was about Mowgli & chandrakanta in the morning, sleeping in the noon & again games in the evening. This pretty much continued till I finished high school. (high schoolallu Mowgli nodthaidyaa ?? kid only). Then PU was about studies, studies & (no prizes for guessing) studies. Since I was in a totally-focused-on-one-goal phase then, Sat & Sun meant a complete revision of that week’s tuition material. Then in engineering, Sunday ..Saturday .. Monday didn’t make a difference. It really didn’t. Maybe the night meal of bisibelebath on Sat nights made us realize that it was Sat & time to do “something”, but there was no special feeling of arrival of weekend. It was only after a whole week's of proper work after joining my job, that Saturday Night Fever struck me. Aha !! The point I am trying to bring out is that it took me 22 years of my life to realize what a “weekend” truly means, thanks to my boring frustrating but high paying job and also to my bunch of friends.

So now, when I am very very wise (not old), in other words, when I am tall & handsome I have realized many thingz that I should have realized before only.

Eternal calmness of the chaotic mind.

So many people in this world, what’s my significance?? But why should I be significant? Why should anyone be significant? Why should I go through the mundane routine of life?? What will I attain out of it?? But am I here to attain anything?? If yes, what if I don’t attain it?? If I am not here to attain anything then why am I here??? But why do I need a reason to be here?? I am unique (just like everyone else). The question of comparison doesn’t even arise. Everyone to himself. I look around & see things. When I see things I feel things (I am a human after all), when I feel things I think about it (I am an intelligent human after all). So what if I do?? There are many things I have & a few that I don’t, I desire it … many situations I have been in & a few I haven’t, I regret it… many people I have known & a few I haven’t, I wish I had … many dreams have been fulfilled & a few haven’t, I dream about them. But what am I going to get out of all this? … Happiness?? But in order to be happy (genuinely-permanently- happy) all one needs is ‘nothing’. You don’t have to do something or not-do something to be happy. You are either happy or you are not. You just do things & at the end of it, if you get happiness...good...if you don’t...screw happiness. Who says you can’t be happy about sadness? What is so sad about being sad?? So happiness is not what I seek & sadness is not something I would enforce upon myself. Maybe, I desire just for the sake of desiring, I regret just because there is nothing else to regret, I wish just because I know it’s never going to become true, I dream because there is nothing else to be dreamt about.
Am I really the kind of person I think I am?? What kind of perception do people have about me? Do I really know what kind of impression I am leaving on people? I feel certain people have certain impressions of me. I say, I don’t care about impressions, but is that just a thought? Do I really don’t care? if I say I don’t care & I think that I don’t care, do I really truly , sincerely don’t care??. How is one to know if one is thinking “truly” or not??? Is the truthfulness of a thought based on the conscious of the thinker?? Is it based on the notion that a man can lie even in his prayers to HIM but not to himself?? Isn’t it possible that, what we think about ourselves is not “what is” but “what we wish is”?? Then doesn’t this mean that, what we are sincerely thinking is not the reality of the situation. What is my true ambition?? Money? Luxury? Happiness? Family? Success? Fame? When will I be able to say that THIS is the ambition of my life?? Maybe I will never know that this is what I really want till I have actually got it … after I achieve that ambition, what else, another ambition?? Till when can I go on like this?? A thought once thought can never be taken back. It’s plainly impossible not to think about something just because you don’t want to. But just thinking about it doesn’t also mean that you necessarily “want” it. How should I know the difference between real thoughts & fake thoughts? Who is to differentiate between the two?? Me?? It’s my thoughts so maybe it has to be me only. I may not have the right to control what I think but surely I have the right to act on it or not act on it. But do I??? On what basis do I decide that a certain thought is real and needs my attention? Am I not conditioned from various society & worldly conditioning to believe that some thoughts are good & some are bad?? So if that kind of thinking is the basis for my actions then what role am I playing? I am neither controlling the actions committed by myself & nor am I controlling the thoughts governing those actions.
Every question doesn’t have an answer. Every action doesn’t have a purpose. Every situation doesn’t have a reason. Happiness, sadness, desire, ambition, a purpose, a reason, a regret.. all these feelings are purely ‘a thought’. A thought starts as a thought & ends as a thought. Neither is the thought immortal, nor are we. A thought is there to be thought about & a feeling is to be felt. Nothing is good & nothing is bad, because good & bad are again just “thoughts”. You can think in any which way you like & feel however you want & yet do whatever it is that has to be done, coz all that matters is what you DO & not what you FEEL, coz all that matters is WHO YOU ARE & not WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE.

I will never cease to think, but whenever I think, I will do so with the complete knowledge that “I am thinking”. This is the “Eternal calmness of the chaotic mind”. This is not just a thought; this is also the meaning of my last name – Nidhanee.

Who am I amounts to ... I am who I am ... period

This will be the last of my BlogSetup notes. So I will clearly tell for the last time that it is very essential that all of you read this current post as well as the previous one to get a grip of what lies ahead. As boring as it may sound, it is essential to mention these things since I believe (my usual current- belief) that when I do something I must do it completely & perfectly. So based on the assumption that you people have understood the point I was trying to convey in the previous post I will start this one. Another assumption is that you are going to treat this post as well as all the rest to come with the same amount of suspicion which I wreaked on you guys in the first one & hopefully you will always be saying to yourself I-doubt-he’s-saying-the-truth.


Suddenly I realized that I have been using “you” a lot in this paragraph. That is not going to happen much in the future so all of YOU bask in the glory till it lasts, coz its going to be all I ME & (you guessed right) MYSELF from next time onwards.

I will try to bring out here some aspects of myself & to a certain extent about this blog. Whats my name, address, mobile number?? What do I do ?? what’s my age ?? etc etc is totally immaterial. Actually my blog link has my first name and for my last name ... well that needs a whole blog for itself. So don’t miss that out when it gets posted.

Those who know me will also very well know that this is my blog. So I am not hiding from anyone & writing with a pseudo name. what about those who don’t know me ?? what if they want to know everything about me after reading such wonderful stuff in my blog ?? well if any of you end up in such a situation I would prefer telling you to “go get a life” but I wont ( I am a nice guy you see) rather I will remind you of SRK in OSO “agar kisi ko dil se chaho tho poori kaynat tumko usse milane ki koshish main lag jaati hain” …. The plain-english version being “if we are meant to know each other we will”. But for the still-desperate-to-know-more-about-me types … keep reading my blog daily before you read your newspaper surely your curiosity will be cured.

This blog is going to be based on only one philosophy & that is philosophy itself. I LOVE PHILOSOPHY. That’s my forte. Philosophy makes life worth living. So I am going to concentrate as much as I can on that in each & eveything I write. Philosophy in each & every thing that I do, in every thing that happens to me, in every situation that I encounter, in each & every-damn-thing where philosophy is not involved I will bring it in. it is going to be philosophy of the highest kind. Philosophy which mankind has never heard of or thought of. Philosophy in all its forms ranging from the seriously-damn-serious, damn-serious, serious, funny, damn-funny & the seriously-damn-funny.

So keep your minds wide open when you read further. That pretty much sums up what I wanted to say here.

Why I Write

For some intelluctuals out there who are reading this, before you start shouting “pliagarism” “copyright-infringement” and the like I would like to tell you that I am not copying George Orwell’s essay here and for all you obviously-clueless people don’t take the trouble of gooogling and all, you can find here (this also happens to be the first time I have inserted a hyperlink) the essay I am referring to. I want to clearly put across the purpose of my blog before I start blogging. But why do I need a purpose in the first place??? Everything in life needs a purpose …. Doesn’t it ??? well at different times I belive in different things (usually contradictory) and currently (this very second) I believe “evrything you do in life needs a purpose”. So my purpose (bold on purpose) is that “I want to express my thoughts”. That’s it ??? aaakthoo ….adanna helakke ishtondu scope bekagithaa ??? well my current belief also goes onto believe that the purpose can be anything .. any-damn-thing, any-silly-thing, any-vague-thing, any-any-thing … so now that I have clearly specified the “why” part of my blog let me go into the “what” part. What am I gonna write ?? that surely depends on the mood of that day, the situations of those times, the circumstances that life would have put me in in those times but most importantly my writing in this blog will be focussed towards the “superficial” & all the “unreal” thoughts … before you start scratching your heads …. That was just a complicated way of saying that I will not be putting across my “true-feelings” here. But yaake ??? come on man .. express your thoughts (the real ones) ..bring out your sorrows … share your happiness …. Cut the crap I say …. All that goes into my personal diary ..yeah I maintain one (so now you guys know the first & last personal thing about me). However if I so feel like it maybe I will bare it all out, but how should the reader’s know that you are speaking truly or not. That eggxactly is the whole point. Gothaythaa … yeah I am clever/smart/synonyms-of-smart (go go open Freedictionary.com)… cant help it. So if you happen to know me or have met me or heard about me or seen me & if you find that some character in some blog is resembling you then you can be rest assured that it’s a fictional blog. Happy ??? well just don’t let your sleep be disturbed by what I write here.. nightmares are fine …. vokay … GTP …Got The Point… no …just forget it then, you are not worthy of me .. and all you people who are just reading this out of the blue YOU are the reason I blog for. This is a blog for you, of me & by me. But why the hell am I bothered about people I am never gonna meet in my life. Well, I am certainly not bothered. That was just so that they feel happy & make my blog famous by word-of-mouth … am I faking this thought or is this for real ??? Kyaa aap paanchvi pass se thez hain ??? (For my international readers here’s the translated or rather the original version) are you smarter than a fifth grader ???
You people have no idea the wealth of konwledge you guys will be acquiring by reading this blog. Knowledge about what?? That I will mention in my next post. So people, come on don’t waste your life+time=lifetime reading other blogs … read mine .. it just doesn’t get simpler than this does it.

what i am gonna write

Many things to be written about, many situations to be described, many people to be spoken about, many experiences to be shared, many feelings to be brought out, many philosophies to be prophesized, many thoughts to be put into words.